I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
