i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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