I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
