i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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