Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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