if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
