drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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