You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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