he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She just used a chaser for red wine.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
