so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
