her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
