All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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