Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
