When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize