How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
