What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
