I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
