Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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