I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
