So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
