I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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