the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
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Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
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There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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