i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
