just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
