I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize