I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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