Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
