He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
