No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
