What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
