He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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