you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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