whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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