I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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