i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
