Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.