That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere