I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.