Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
