we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
