No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
