He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
