Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
