Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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