There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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