Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
This gyro tastes like lonliness
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
