yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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