Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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