I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
