Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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