Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
