Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
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