I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
