Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
