Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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