No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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