I got chris browned last night
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
