Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
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i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
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This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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