If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
