Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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