i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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