Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
