pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
