so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
