garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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